


Can't trust myself with my 3am shadow

by miyocca



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28095348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyocca/pseuds/miyocca
Summary: The lines of the figure in the dark are familiar to him, the way the light of the laptop illuminates unruly curls, the outline of a black eyepatch. The facemask is missing today, probably lying discarded somewhere in the room but Sykkuno cannot make out anything beyond Corpse, sitting hunched on his bed in the dim room.
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 431





	Can't trust myself with my 3am shadow

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, inspired by Corpse and Sykkuno's online personalities. Please be respectful to them.  
> This story is meant for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

_mood: Troye Sivan - Talk Me Down_

The lines of the figure in the dark are familiar to him, the way the light of the laptop illuminates unruly curls, the outline of a black eyepatch. The facemask is missing today, probably lying discarded somewhere in the room but Sykkuno cannot make out anything beyond Corpse, sitting hunched on his bed in the dim room.

“I’m terrified everything is going to disappear.” The words are tinged with muted desperation, forcing Sykkuno to take a deep breath and let it out slowly, to gather his thoughts. What is he supposed to say to that when he feels the same? Everything they have currently is amazing but they are all too aware of the fact that it can vanish in a blink of an eye. Fame is fickle and so are people.

“You will still have me.” Sykkuno offers, a shy half smile curling in the corner of his lips as he glances away from the screen, eyes briefly catching on the time in the corner. 3am.

It started a couple weeks ago when Sykkuno couldn’t sleep, laying awake even after streaming and browsing puppy videos on YouTube. It got to a point where he gave up on sleep altogether around 2am but his thoughts got too loud and he desperately needed someone to share them with. He might seem like an introvert but he doesn’t do well when he is left alone with his own mind.

After brief hesitation he opened up Discord and was surprised when he saw that Corpse was also online. Not wanting to impose on him in case he was busy recording a song, he just gazed at his icon, body suddenly filled with warmth as he recalled their latest shenanigans in Among Us. Hearing Corpse’s wheezing when he laughed too hard never failed to ignite a spark of pride in him, the fact that he, ordinary Sykkuno was able to make a person so amazing like Corpse laugh. He almost missed when his phone pinged with a new notification: Corpse sent him a message. Texting lead to a video call, both of them insomniac in the darkness of their rooms, exchanging their deepest insecurities in hushed whispers. Now it occurred every few days, seeking each other out when things became too much.

“Sykkuno.” The rumble of his voice sends a small shiver up his spine, effectively pulling said man back to the present. “You are too kind for your own good. You will continue giving and giving to people until one day you won’t have anything left from your heart.”

“I-is that a bad thing?” Sykkuno’s voice lilts at the end and he chuckles but it sounds cheap even to his own ears. “I mean… I just want to make everyone happy. I don’t need a heart for myself.”

“That’s bullshit.” Corpse is sitting up a bit straighter now, his eye which is visible squinting at the screen and Sykkuno feels he can see right into his soul. The smudged eyeliner definitely makes his gaze more fierce, he realizes in the back of his mind. "You need to be kind to yourself too."

He cannot keep the intense eye contact so he averts his gaze, fingers fiddling with the hem of the blanket as he gulps. He wouldn't admit this to anyone but this is Corpse. Corpse who understands him and always treats him with care yet never makes him feel less than an equal. "I don't know how to." He fights to keep his voice from breaking, clearing his throat as the words hang in the air, the admission weighing down on his shoulders, almost crushing him.

"Sy…" Corpse's voice is impossibly gentle but unfortunately that only fuels the ball that seems to form in Sykkuno's throat, making it hard for him to breathe and swallow. He fidgets a bit, bending his knee a couple times to stretch it, plastering a smile on his face that is physically painful and feels more like a grimace than anything.

"It's okay. As long as my friends are happy, I'm happy too. I feel useful when I can make them happy." Technically, the second part is not a lie. He would do anything for his friends because that allows him to feel useful, like he did something meaningful.

"I know that. But you should try making yourself happy too, for your own sake." Corpse lets out a small sigh, wrecking his brain to say something useful. He knows giving advice can be shitty because they take away the power from you, making it seem like someone else solved your problems and you were left to blindly follow them. But how can he put into words how much the man on the other side of the screen means to him? How can he put into words that he finds him precious and he values his company more than anyone else's? He doesn't want to overwhelm him. He opts to gaze at him again, hoping his face, shrouded in shadows but open and honest, conveys how much Sykkuno means to him. "You should try being your own friend too."

Sykkuno seems to mull over his words, his fingers unconsciously reaching up to adjust his fringe, a nervous habit of his, even though he got a haircut last week.

"I-I can try." He whispers and once again Corpse wonders how much of it he really means and how much of it he is saying just to make Corpse happy. He doesn't want to pry anymore, he doesn't have the right to give mental health advice anyway when he is a mess even on his best days.

"As long as you try, it is alright." He hums, leaning closer to glance at the time in the corner of his screen. It is almost 4am and he knows Sykkuno will wake up early tomorrow to go grocery shopping with his grandma. "We should try catching a few hours of sleep…" He trails off, straightening his back to stretch a bit, his limbs heavy with a constant dull ache in his bones. Nothing he isn't used to.

"Y-yeah, are you still recording the screaming part for your new song?" Sykkuno tries to change his tone to a more light-hearted one, their 3am conversations always leaving him feeling strangely vulnerable. But it also feels good, saying his worries out loud in the dark and listening to Corpse's answers and vice versa. It puts him at ease to know that he can share these thoughts with someone who never judges him or sees him as weak.

"Probably, depending on how my throat feels." He grimaces, running a hand through his curls and suddenly all Sykkuno can think about is that he wants to see if Corpse's hair is as bouncy as it looks through the camera.

"I hope it feels better tomorrow. I will concentrate all of my energy into wishing that your throat is better tomo- uh today." He nods with a small nod of conviction and a tiny smile and it is enough to elicit a low chuckle from the other man. Honestly, if anyone can will something into existence through kindness, it is this small ball of sunshine called Sykkuno.

"Thank you Sykkuno. See you later, sleep well."

"See you." With that promise in the air, they both click on disconnecting the call, their hearts feeling lighter and the 3am shadows pushed back in their minds.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to throw prompts at me in the comments 😉  
> I have a few ideas but I'd love to write more with them, I find their dynamic really precious!


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